The loss of a beloved pet causes many difficult emotions in breeders, including deep sadness. Dealing with them is an integral part of the grieving process, a natural reaction to the death of a loved one – whether it is a person or an animal. For example, physically expressing one's suffering means actively mourning the death of a four-legged friend. By actively experiencing the grieving process instead of avoiding it, you speed up the grieving process.
Grieving is a completely individual matter, it does not follow a specific pattern, although according to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross it consists of five stages: denial, anger, negotiation, depression and acceptance. However, there are tips that can be helpful and universal for anyone facing loss.
Recognizing the Reality of Death
Recognizing that a loss has actually occurred can take weeks or even months. When preparing for the "new normal" of life without a beloved pet, one should be understanding. It took a while to build a relationship with your pet, so you have to get used to it when you're away.
Getting used to the pain
Experiencing extremely emotional thoughts and a mixture of conflicting feelings associated with the death of an animal is difficult but important. A healthier grieving process can be achieved by taking the time to process your feelings rather than trying to ignore them.
Continuing the relationship with the animal through memories
Our memories allow animals to live on in our memory. Experiencing these memories, both happy and sad, can be a slow and painful process that takes place in small steps. For example, you can look at photos of your pet or write a letter reminiscing about the time you spent together. A souvenir jewel can become a reliquary with a small amount of animal friend's ashes and allow you to experience grief in a sense of real closeness.
Adapt your identity to the situation
By defining our social roles, we can easily consider ourselves animal protectors. Others may think the same of us – someone may be "the gentleman who always walked around with a big black dog" or "the friend who always had a cat jump on his lap". Adjusting to the change of identity when your beloved pet is not with us is a very significant need in times of mourning.
The search for meaning
When an animal dies, it's a natural reaction to question the importance of pets in your life. Dealing with these questions in your head is another aspect of grieving that you should get used to. It is important to ask the questions themselves, we do not need to look for specific answers.
Receiving support from others
Everyone in the grieving process needs the love and support of others, because grief cannot be "overcome." You can only accept it. One important way to do this can be to talk to or stay with other pet owners who have also experienced the death of their four-legged friend.
People often use support groups to deal with grief associated with personal crises or the end of interpersonal relationships, but it is only recently that groups have begun to emerge to help people deal with the death of their pets. When managed in a responsible way, these groups can help pet parents overcome the emotional aspects of attachment and loss. First of all, it is important to keep in mind that the experience of loss can be different for everyone and becomes a challenging challenge.
Things Worth Remembering
Deafening silence
The silence in the home after the death of a pet may seem unbearably loud. The animal companion has taken up physical space in our lives and home, his presence has been felt many times very much. When your pet dies, its absence, that is, silence, is overwhelming. The "presence of absence" is felt. Simply knowing this sad truth will help you prepare for sudden bouts of difficult emotions.
Consequences of a unique bond with an animal
A shared relationship with a pet is a special and unique bond that some people may find difficult to understand. During the period of mourning, well-meaning friends and family members may appear around us who feel that we should not mourn our pet, or who say that we should not be so sad because it is "just a cat" or "just a dog." However, grief is normal, and the relationship you have formed with your special friend requires grieving.
A sadness that can't be explained
Sometimes we have a strong desire to grieve "from the heart", but at the same time we also try to explain these emotions. The mind has no explanation for what we feel. Some will then want to "convey" their grief by passing on the emotions associated with grieving a pet to others, making them "more bearable and less important." While this behavior is normal, it's good to know that grief requires the care and respect of anyone who experiences a loss.
Spiritual Questions
During grief, you may question your beliefs about pets and the afterlife. Many people around will also have their own opinions on the subject, sometimes different from ours. During this time, it is important to find your own answer. A psychologist, psychotherapist or mourning companion can help.
Bibliography for August 7, 2020:
- Pet Loss & Grief brochure, AVMA – American Veterinary Medical Association
- AVMA Guidelines for Pet Loss Support Services
- https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/stages-of-grief-education-polish.pdf
- https://iccfa.com/